why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops