onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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So dont touch it

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Icecream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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