What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hitler was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

96

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops