Kittens.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Women's sports.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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