stuff and dogs {()}

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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like facebook.com/john maon

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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69

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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BUTTERFARTING

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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