Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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Dozer has a soul

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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brett is a dick

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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baby seal walks into a bar

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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I only like NY as a friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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