Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

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what do you call a bear on a unicycle? improbable.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Poop

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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