how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

thumb_up thumb_down +30

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops