Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Kittens.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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hi

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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your life

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women's lacrosse.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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