What's 5+7? Piccillo

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock whos there punctuation

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops