GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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