Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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