Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops