Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Penis jokes.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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