- Anti Joke

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

8=D

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

Q:Whats funny? A:Genocide

Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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