what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo mamas so fat, she started working out

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops