Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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My Girlfriend

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Icecream

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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So dont touch it

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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