What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Women's sports.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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