Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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obama is a good president

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Icecream

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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A guy is playing cod

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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