What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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What did the retarded black kid say in gym? Eugh eugh eugh eugh

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

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Why are the inside of a black guys hands white? Because he has worked really hard for his whole life.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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