Water, please.

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"Hello." "Hi."

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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GAY PEOPLE

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops