Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

obama is a good president

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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