Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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