Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Guess What? What? Get in the van.

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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