Kittens.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Bin Laden is dead.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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your life

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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women's lacrosse.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops