What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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whats gay ? you

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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