Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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A seal walks into a club.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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The Economy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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