onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Icecream

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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8=D

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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