Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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weiner? balls

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Looks through the peephole.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing, walls don't talk.

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What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops