- Anti Joke

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

ring ring ring hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) beep beep beep

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

I am really good at math debating

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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