KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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tim rafter died no one cared

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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Hello

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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