A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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whats gay ? you

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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