So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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French people

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lololololololololol

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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the guy below me is gay

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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