What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

Icecream

A guy is playing cod

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Star Wars

KIMBERLEY HONEY

What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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