Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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69

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Women's sports.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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