Why was johny late to school? He died

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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69

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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