Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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A seal walks into a club.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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