Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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World peace

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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