NEVER

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Chayton

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Communism

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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