Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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French people

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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lololololololololol

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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