Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

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what?

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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4023145287

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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