What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

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Hello

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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9/11

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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