Sit on Santas lap Boner

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

thumb_up thumb_down -7

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whyo black peopple lie koolade the like the taste

thumb_up thumb_down -9

im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A jew went to Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops