Women's sports.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What is brown and sticky?

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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