Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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My mom just died....

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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