How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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memes

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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minced oaths

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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Amputations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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