- Anti Joke

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

I've got the moobs like jagger.

I ENJOY MASTURBATING

KEVIN HART

There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

newt gingrich

roses are red, violets are violet

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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