Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

Kittens.

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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