Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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WALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXT

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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