- Anti Joke

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

stuff and dogs {()}

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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