why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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NEVER

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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