HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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hi

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Women's sports.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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