A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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A guy is playing cod

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Icecream

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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