What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Ya know why I hate bad puns? Because they aren't punny. In other words they have no real plot and don't make people laugh. They actually tend to get quite annoying.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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