Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know George Washington? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

thumb_up thumb_down +2

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down

What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

thumb_up thumb_down

No.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops