How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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KNOCK-KNOCK Who's there? There's a man after me, I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me! I'm scared, I don't know what he'll do. Let me in goddamnit! There's a man after me I was just walking down the street and he started chasing me I'm scared I don't know what he'll do let me in goddamnit who?

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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whyo black peopple lie koolade the like the taste

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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