A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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a little girl gets raped

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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your mother is so lesbian

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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