what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What flys? A fly

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This is not a good joke.

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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