A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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A black goes to college

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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hi

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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Chuck Norris died.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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