A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Water, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

thumb_up thumb_down -32

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

ruddell and dodds anal

thumb_up thumb_down +57

ur mother

thumb_up thumb_down +53

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

the chicken whent boomand then died

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops