I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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What is brown and sticky?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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