- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

8=D

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

Icecream

Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

Knock, Knock Who's There. You. You who. You are you. WTF!

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

WALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXT

Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

co jo kurwa tocza?

What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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