Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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NEVER

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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A guy is playing cod

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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