Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +8

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops