A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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