What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Fuck her

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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