An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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The Economy

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops