What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

is it big enough to have sex in????

How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

Hi

Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

High school gym class.

What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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