Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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My Girlfriend

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops