9/11

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Kittens.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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i hate you.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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