Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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you just lost the game!

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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tim rafter died no one cared

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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