Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It's your mother, open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

potato farming

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops