I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

I scream. You scream. We all scream.

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

Your Mom

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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