How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Women's rights

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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