- Anti Joke

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

Windows Vista

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

Write your own

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

HTML

A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

Working hard or hardly working????

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

Anti Joke

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