why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

ur mother

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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