My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

Kittens.

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

GONNA

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...