What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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memes

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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womens rights

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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