Communism

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops