Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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tim rafter died no one cared

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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