What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

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Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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NEVER

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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Nice weather we're having.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Guess what? No.

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Penis in a box.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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