- Anti Joke

Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

Penis

42

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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