Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Banana(s)

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

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whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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what time is it rape time

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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im black

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Chuck Norris died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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