Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Icecream

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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8=D

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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