If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey Caleb.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +5

8=D

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy is playing cod

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops