what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

Sit on Santas lap Boner

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

BUTTERFARTING

Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

My mom's dead

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

Your mom goes to college

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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