-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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Ancient Greeks rights

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Penis

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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