How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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