How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

Patrick is gay

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

A Muslim blows up a bar

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

Mitt Romney for president.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...