why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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GAY PEOPLE

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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