What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

hi

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

What is brown and sticky?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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