- Anti Joke

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

Dozer has a soul