Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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What flys? A fly

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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BUTTERFARTING

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Q: What's worse than being fat? A: Getting even fatter than u already are. :o

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Bumsniffer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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