- Anti Joke

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

Dozer has a soul

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

What do you call a female duck? A duck.

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

I have read the Terms of Service.

Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

Grapefruit.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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