What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats the difference........ between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

HARRY EFFING STYLES

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A black goes to college

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +49

knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

thumb_up thumb_down +41

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +41

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops