When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Women's rights

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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your mother is so lesbian

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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Mitt Romney for president.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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