Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops