What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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