How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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Kittens.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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i hate you.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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