Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

thumb_up thumb_down +6

8=D

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

d

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops