Communism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

96

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Freddie Mercurys teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An asian walks out of math class

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey Caleb.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops