What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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BUTTERFARTING

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WTF BOOOOOM

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Water, please.

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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69

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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GAY PEOPLE

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Kittens.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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