What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Penis jokes.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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cot!

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Communism

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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Poopsack Jones

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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