How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

Your Mom

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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