why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

what time is it rape time

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

whats gay ? you

look left now look right. washing machine

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

Chuck Norris died.

Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...