How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +21

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock It's open, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops