Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whoa! A talking carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What sucks?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Fuck her

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops