A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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KIMBERLEY HONEY

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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Knock, Knock Who's There. You. You who. You are you. WTF!

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you just lost the game!

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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Penis

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42

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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