What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Women"s Rights

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Poopsack Jones

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How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

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Communism

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Windows Vista

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops