A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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