Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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Fuck her

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Can I touch it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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