Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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