If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

boobs

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

Teen pregnancy

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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