What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Haha

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Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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