Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Communism

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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Your Mom

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An asian walks out of math class

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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Poopsack Jones

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Windows Vista

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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