Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

Penis

A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

your momma is so old, she has heart problems

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

My mom's dead

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

Whats the difference........ between a duck?

What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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