A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

A horse walks into a glue factory..

Tim's gay.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

Someone told me about this website.

What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

cot!

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

Your Mom

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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