Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops