What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

My mom's dead

A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

I love Ciara!

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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