- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Women's rights

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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your mother is so lesbian

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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