What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +47

roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

thumb_up thumb_down +47

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What comes after 69? Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Teen pregnancy

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops