Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Boobs are nasty!

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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A black goes to college

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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hi

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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