why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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women's rights.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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NEVER

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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