A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

baby seal walks into a bar

-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

WALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXTWALLOFTEXT

Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

austins gay lolololol

Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a gay baby was just born.

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

co jo kurwa tocza?

Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

This one time, at band camp we played in a band

Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...