Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

two fish are in a tank.

Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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