boobs

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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