What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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The WNBA

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Boobs are nasty!

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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