A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

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No.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Grapefruit.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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Haha

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Yo Momma is so ugly she probably doesn't have any friends.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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