why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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The glass is half an hour.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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