Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

Teen pregnancy

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

whats gay ? you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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