Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +26

dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Fuck her

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +20

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Penis in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops