How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Justin Bieber

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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whats gay ? you

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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