"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Women

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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