Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Rebecca Black.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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