What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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Penis

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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I'm gay.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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