A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Your Mom

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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