The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops