The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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you just lost the game!

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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