A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

GONNA

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

69

There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

I've got the moobs like jagger.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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