Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Miscarriages.

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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