Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What lives underground? Grandpa

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

Fuck her

What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

shut up

Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...