Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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What did you say? I don't know.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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hi

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops