What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

Like this joke

What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

women's rights.

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

two fish are in a tank.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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