A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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Akshaytiger World

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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What is brown and sticky?

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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i heart wiener

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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Anal cheese curds.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Bumsniffer

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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