why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

Whoa! A talking carrot!

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

KEVIN HART

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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