what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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