How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN DON'T FUCK WID DA WUTANG CLAN

whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please Bitch Please 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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

WTF BOOOOOM

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

BUTTERFARTING

Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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