How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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Hey Caleb.

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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8=D

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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Icecream

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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