What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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No.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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noodles

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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