Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Womens rights

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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