If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

Guess What? What? Get in the van.

boobs

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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