Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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My mom's dead

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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69

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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