What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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Women's rights.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Penis jokes.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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