A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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9/11

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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Boobs are nasty!

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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boobs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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