Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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im black

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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