How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Avery has crabs.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Q: What's the point? A: .

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Time flies like a banana.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Like this joke

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops