A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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noodles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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