- Anti Joke

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

What is brown and smells? Poop

"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I LIKE TURLES.

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

Don't rape me!

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

oops

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

Windows Vista

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

Gadaffi

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

Hey what time is it. 3:15