Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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KEVIN HART

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Mitt Romney for president.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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