Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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two fish are in a tank.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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