Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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American Idol

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops