What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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What flys? A fly

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

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What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Bumsniffer

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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