Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

Like this joke

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

WNBA

Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

where do the women go? the womanarium

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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