Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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Patrick is gay

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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