Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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