Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

Like this joke

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

women's rights.

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Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

two fish are in a tank.

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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