Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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What is brown and sticky?

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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What flys? A fly

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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yo momma is so tall shes tall

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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