What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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come along children

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Banana(s)

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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look left now look right. washing machine

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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