What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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96

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I came.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops