What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Adam Sandler.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats gay ? you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops