Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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