Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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i heart wiener

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Boobs are nasty!

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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