how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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