I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Women's rights.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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