man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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