How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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