What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

What do you call Obama? - the president

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

WNBA

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

im black

Tim's gay.

What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...