Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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boobs

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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