If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

Google Doodles

Hey what time is it. 3:15

What is brown and smells? Poop

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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