Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

Boobs are nasty!

Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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