Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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come along children

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Teen pregnancy

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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