What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

suck my dick.

What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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