Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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World peace

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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A man. That is all.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops