An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

Women's rights.

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

Mitt Romney for president.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

whats worse than flunking math? death.

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

There once was a man named Joe. Joe had AIDS, and killed all his friends and family The End, now go back to bed, pussy

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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