"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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