What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

Fuck her

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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