A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Boobs are nasty!

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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