If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

boobs

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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