What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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your life

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops