What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

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What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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Working hard or hardly working????

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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noodles

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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What is brown and sticky?

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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