Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Patrick is gay

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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