what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

Can I touch it?

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

Don't rape me!

Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

WNBA

what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

Like this joke

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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