Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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What is brown and sticky?

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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9/11

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69

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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