-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

no u

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops