What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Muslim blows up a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a glue factory..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops