Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops