Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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American Idol

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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obama is a good president

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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