- Anti Joke

Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

dead babies

A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

a black guy leaves prison

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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