- Anti Joke

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

look left now look right. washing machine

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

do you know what's so funny? yup

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops