What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

A van drives into a car.

What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

Boobs are nasty!

what is white and red all over? a ginger

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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