If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +33

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

look left now look right. washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a little girl gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops