Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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The glass is half an hour.

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops