What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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