What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

look left now look right. washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

thumb_up thumb_down +20

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Penis in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

jewish people like other jewish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Fuck her

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops