What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Black people are clen.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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Penis in a box.

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Knock knock Come in!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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