Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Water, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I love Ciara!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops