roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Penis in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A homeless person dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mum is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops