Your mum is dead

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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i have 2 penises

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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