what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Hey

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a mammal.

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The 19th Amendment

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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George W. Bush

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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whats pale and white your ass.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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96

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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