what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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two fish are in a tank.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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did you know Helen Keller had a dog? neither did she.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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