A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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Miscarriages.

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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