A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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whats gay ? you

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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