What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +34

???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops