What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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Women

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Jokes are funny.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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hi

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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