What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

French people

What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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