What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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no u

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops