What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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WNBA

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oops

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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Time flies like a banana.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Hey

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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obama is a good president

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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-What's a real anti joke? -This.

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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