A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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My mom's dead

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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Hitler is my role model

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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There is a car full of black people.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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