What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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noodles

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Wy do boys like big butts ? Cause it goes in easy :.:

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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Thumbs this up

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Justin Bieber

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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