Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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