What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

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whats gay ? you

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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World peace

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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