What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Miscarriages.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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