Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock Who's there? What.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

your life

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops