your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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Canada's army

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Where else? The junk yard

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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