What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

What time is it? 12:03 AM

Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after A-N-A-L

Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

8===========D O:

A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

What's brown a sticky? -A stick

A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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