Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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women's rights.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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George W. Bush

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Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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whats pale and white your ass.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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