Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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you just lost the game!

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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