How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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