There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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but there is a road to the super market

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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A man buys free health care...

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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My sister has to take a dump

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Golf.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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