Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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