- Anti Joke

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

Y2K

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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