69

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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God.

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Time flies like a banana.

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Obama.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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oops

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Brittney Spears

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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