Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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Knock knock Come in!

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Don't rape me!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Women's Rights

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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Miscarriages.

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Hey

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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