When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

Fuck her

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

Brittney Spears

What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

Josh kissing a girl

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

oops

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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