What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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What should I name my dog?

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

go go gadget

your momma is so stupid she failed math class

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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