What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Womens rights.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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