lewis bedford

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

Black people are clen.

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

how does peploe get around they walk

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

a man walks into a bar.......ouch

What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

It's your mother, open the door.

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...