How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

Womens rights

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

hi

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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