What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Where else? The junk yard

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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