Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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Women Drivers.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Adam Sandler.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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