"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If i was a chicken i would probably not be on this site. But i am, so you can all suck it!!!! BAHHHH i'm a frog EJ

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

thumb_up thumb_down -24

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

thumb_up thumb_down -78

The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops