How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's your name? You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats round and like a ball a ball

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops