Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Patrick is gay

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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W.N.B.A.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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