Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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