why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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25

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69

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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