A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

What's your name? You tell me.

roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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