What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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Where else? The junk yard

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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World Of Warcraft

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Got milk? No.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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