roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

WNBA

How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

A man. That is all.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

What is brown and smells? Poop

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

sixty....eight.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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