How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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