Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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Avery has crabs.

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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