Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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