A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how does peploe get around they walk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sweaty black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops