Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Punchline.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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