What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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a little girl gets raped

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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