Your mum is dead

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Women's Rights

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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