What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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