What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Tacos

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I love boobs

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Can I touch it?

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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sweaty black guy

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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