Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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69

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Yo mama so fat she died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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