A mexican goes to an ATM.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Lindsay Lohan is often caught flashing her vagina...

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

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Why did the Nigger fuck shit? He was a shit fucking Nigger.

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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Why did Tyrone attack? Because he was getting made fun of

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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Where else? The junk yard

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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