How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Where else? The junk yard

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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