Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

I've got the moobs like jagger.

"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

What is 69? A two digit number.

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

whats better than shoes feet

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

World peace

I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

Mmmmmmm Lemons

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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