How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

sweaty black guy

why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

Women's Rights

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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