where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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two fish are in a tank.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Communism ... ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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