Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Avery has crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a man walks into a bar.......ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +19

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops