A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

why did the chicken cross the road.

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

how does peploe get around they walk

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

Black people

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

Hi colton

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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