that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

penis

Black people

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

two fish are in a tank.

The glass is half an hour.

What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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