What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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shut up

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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