How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is jim gay? because he likes men

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

baby seal walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your momma's an antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down -3

In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops