What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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oops

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Punchline.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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Miscarriages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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