On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Black people

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Women's Rights

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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Knock Knock Good one...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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