What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

thumb_up thumb_down -105

3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -109

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops