Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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Robin, get in the car.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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lewis bedford

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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69

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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