Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops