Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Black people

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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