Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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Womens rights.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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but there is a road to the super market

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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