do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Tacos

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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I LIKE TURLES.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Don't rape me!

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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