What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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You know what they say about big feet... big penis.

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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lol

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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