What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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