Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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womens rights!

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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