A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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your face.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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Religion

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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