A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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