What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

steves legs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

thumb_up thumb_down +5

...and I'm a Mormon.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

ollie is a fag so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops