Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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I love boobs

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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shut up

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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