What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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no u

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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a black guy leaves prison

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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