Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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69

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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