Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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What do you find....... there's a..........

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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Water, please.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops