What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Black people

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Time flies like a banana.

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Your mum is dead

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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