what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

a

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

steves legs

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

Women's Rights

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

...and I'm a Mormon.

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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