There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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but there is a road to the super market

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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