Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

thumb_up thumb_down +32

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

the joke below me is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Yo mama so fat she died

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's big and black? A black fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I've got the moobs like jagger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

9:11 make a wish

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops