I am a real homosexual

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

Women's Rights

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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