Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

whats round and like a ball a ball

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

barack osama

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

GONNA

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

what do you call a cup?... a cup

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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