roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Mexicans working in an office

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Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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A man buys free health care...

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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