What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A man buys free health care...

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Rebecca Black.

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What should I name my dog?

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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