How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

you wanna hear a joke? no

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

oops

Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

A fat man buys a salad

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

Giving birth to the antichrist

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

I am really good at math debating

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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