A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

It's your mother, open the door.

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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