why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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69

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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lewis bedford

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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