A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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Women's Golf

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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Your mum is dead

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A bar walks into your mother.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Whats white, and edible? white chocolate

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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Women's Rights

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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