what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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What should I name my dog?

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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