Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you find....... there's a..........

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Slavery lol

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

alcoholism kills

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats red white and blue? i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

thumb_up thumb_down -84

3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops