?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

what do you call a cup?... a cup

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

where's waldo? in a picture book.

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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