why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i have 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops