What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

What comes after 69? Mouthwash

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

a banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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