3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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