Tomorrow, today's yesterday.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Dozer has a soul

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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Anti jokes.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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