A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops