Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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haha.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Whats the difference between the holocaust and Norm McDonald? One can be laughed at the other is Norm McDonald.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What should I name my dog?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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