why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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drugs.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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