Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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I am black.

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Golf.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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The geese of Growmore

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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