Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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your momma's an antijoke

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Why did the boy kill himself? Because he wanted to.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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