Look at your hand. Made you look!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

sixty....eight.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What comes after "Q" R

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Women's Rights...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops