Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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What does a man like. food.

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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So a black man walked into a bar and ordered a drink. He payed for the drink and couldn't have been more courteous

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender, a known drug smuggler for the Mexican Cartel fires three shotgun rounds. As the bartender reloads Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks first the shotgun out of the man's hands followed by three very quick blows to the head. The bartender goes down unconscious and he is arrested. Though the program is no longer produced, Walker Texas Ranger was a somewhat enjoyable, although poorly written and low budgeted made for television action crime drama series produced from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001.

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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