Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What break when you talk?

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No.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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knock knock come in

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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