Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Women rights.

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Yo mama so fat she died

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops