Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +15

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +15

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +11

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down +11

jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops