It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Sea World Japan.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Potato salad

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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