How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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Haha pizza

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Women Drivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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