What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

69

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A women walks out of a kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops