a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

I don't get it

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

...and I'm a Mormon.

When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

I am really good at math debating

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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