What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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