Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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haha.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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69

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Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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