What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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I am black.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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barack osama

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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