Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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roses are black violets are black your going to die with hate and sorrow

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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knock knock come in

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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