How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

DONALD TRUMP DIES

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

A bar walks into your mother.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

This post contains NOTHING.

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

God.

Women

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...