Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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